


Poppin' Bottles

by kidneyproducer



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ''cRackiE'', Alternate Universe - Office, Attempt at Humor, Crack, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Toys, Shiver, Voyeurism, and more - Freeform, but keep reading it gets better, camboy minghao, dutch jokes, fbi agent junhui, in one chapter, its not actually that bad tho, its not as bad as it seems, kind of, the first part of the first chapter SUCKS, was meant to be serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-03-26 07:18:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidneyproducer/pseuds/kidneyproducer
Summary: Where Minghao's a camboy and Junhui is an FBI agent assigned to watch him.





	1. ''hot diggity dog, he's a camboy.''

**Author's Note:**

> i can't really explain what a daily check-up is in the story it selff (i'm just not that smart.) but uhh yknow the memes? the fbi is 'watching you' memes? yeah so thats the daily check-up.
> 
> crossposted on wattpad (the account is @amang-)
> 
> ©

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ''Give me your computer, you smelly bitch.''

It was hot in the room, the sun streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, put in by architects who should have known better. The loud squeaky sounds of a flamingo pink coloured office chair rolling around filled the otherwise quiet room.

The atmosphere in the room was somehow soft and peaceful. ''Hey bitch, you haven't done your daily check-up yet.'' And there goes the quiet and peaceful atmosphere.

Junhui, aka said ''bitch'' , let out a 'hmpf' sound. Showing that he really wasn't feeling like doing his 'daily check-up.' Jeonghan, aka other said boy glared at him. ''You gotta do what you gotta do, man. With that being said.'' He closed the door and speed-walked away.

Junhui sighed and started up his computer. ''Well i guess Jeonghan is right, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.'' He typed in his password 4 times (getting it wrong 3 times.) He waited for his computer to start up, it was taking  _a lot_ longer than normal. After waiting for another 7 minutes he decided to text Jeonghan.

_**China's #1 King**  sent a message to  **Pinkwink.**_

_**China's #1 king**_ :you know,i ain't one to gossip. bUT uhh my computer isn't working and Jihoon really needs to make that deal with apple, because i'm tired of this shit. 

 _ **Pinkwink**_ : OKAy but why are you telling me this ?? also bitch mine isn't working either you ain't special.

 _ **China's #1 King**_ : You're the closest to him, you should tell him he won't fire you he loves you bro. (but no homo) 

 _ **China's #1 King**_ : and also tell him that i'm sICK AND TIRED of watching this 13 year old anime fan, she's a fucking weEB man.

 _ **pinkwink**_ :okay okay i'll tell him. and you could switch computers with Seungcheol, he doesn't want to watch his 'person' anymore.

 _ **China's #1 King**_ : why?

 _ **pinkwink** :_ idfk, ask him.

 _ **China's #1 King**_ : bitch aint nobody got time for that, but i gtg. and make sure you tell jihoon.

 _ **pinkwink**_ : yeah okay i'll ask. and go talk to seungcheol his office is liTERALLY next to yours. see ya 

Junhui sighed for the nth time that day and walked up to Seungcheol's office. The door opened before he even had the time to knock on it. ''Ah, i've been expecting you.'' Junhui looked at him in disgust. ''Seungcheol, what the fuck.'' He said with no emotion is his voice.

''So Jeonghan told me that you wanted to come by, but he didn't actually tell me why. So enlighten me, my friend.'' He said while softly closing the door with his foot. He went to sit down and took a sip of his (too hot) coffee, ''god fucking damnit.'' The coffee came out of his mouth as fast as it came in there. 

''No don't spill it over my new computer!'' Junhui's high pitched scream filled the room. Seungcheol gave him a 'bitch what the hell are you talking about.' look. He put down his coffee and walked up to Junhui, after that he immediately walked back and picked his coffee up again. He eyed Junhui for about 20 seconds. ''You're kind of making me uncomfortable.''

Seungcheol completely ignored his comment. ''Let's make a deal, okay? you can have my computer. If you don't tell anyone about it.'' 

''About what? the coffee?'' He gave him the. 'bitch what the hell are you talking about.' look again before answering. ''Of course not, dumbass. The switching.'' He sat down again. 

''But why don't you want your 'person' anymore, they aren't like a serial killer, right? because i'm not really into that either.'' Seungcheol stood up again. without his coffee this time. He walked up to Junhui and put his hands on his shoulders.

 ''Don't worry about it, kiddo, you're going to like it.'' He looked at him with a disturbing grin on his face. Junhui was about to answer him before Jihoon suddenly bursted into the room with some foreign looking guy behind them.

''I don't want to know what you guys were doing, also this is Hansol, he's new. go show him around or something. i gotta work.'' He walked out without saying another word, leaving Hansol with them. He looked at them with a big grin on his face, not knowing how they were going to wipe that grin off his face in just a few minutes.

Seungcheol walked up to him and got a bit closer to his face than should be considerd normal. ''Okay new kid, before we start. you have to know your place.'' He put his hand down in the air where his crotch would be. ''We start at the bottom, the cleaners.'' Both him and Junhui shiver. ''I was stuck there for 2 years, you should be happy that you're not there.''

He moved his hand up a little higher. ''The printer-workers, or something like that. Have you met our boy Chan yet? yeah he has been there for 3 years now.'' he moved his hand a bit higher again. ''Here we have the coffee makers, i think this is where you are right here. It's not that bad, you'll survive.''

 He moved his hand up so his chest and started talking.  ''Than we have the front desk, not that bad, kind of boring. Have you met Soonyoung yet? probably.''  Seungcheol put his hand down and grabbed a chair, he put both of his feet on it. he wobbled a bit before standing up completely. he stood on his toes and put his hand as far as he could reach. 

''Now here we are, the 'watchers'. you could kind of say that we're stalkers, but we're not because we're the boss.'' He wanted to continue but Junhui interrupted him.

''We're not, Jihoon's spot is higher than us, he's basically at the moon. He's a bit shorter than us but he has the biggest chair so it's okay. You've met him right?'' Seungcheol glared at him and got off his chair. 

''Anyways, the main watchers that are probably going to order you around are Junhui over there, Wonwoo, he's kind off a dick but you'll like him. We also have Jeonghan, he's a bitch, but maybe you'll like him. I honestly don't No one really does.-''

 ''-I love him!''

 ''-Shut the fuck up, Junhui. anyways, continuing where i was before i was rudely interrupted. We also have Jihoon, you met him. And of course, saving the best for last, me.'' Hansol face didn't hold any emotion. 

Seungcheol sat down, feeling satisfied with himself. Junhui pushed Hansol out of the door ''I like my coffee like i like my soul, with extra sugar and a little bit of milk, Shoo now.'' He closed the door and turned to Seungcheol. 

''Give me your computer, you smelly bitch.'' 

-

_''I can't do this anymore! I want to break up with you.'' The boy stated with tears in his eyes. The other boy looked at him with the same expression on his face. ''You can't do this! not right now! i'm pregnant.'' The other boy exclaimed._

Gasps filled the room.

_''Next time on **I still Love You.** ''_

'' _SVT skin care by ming-_ '' someone turned off the TV right when the commercials came on. groans filled the room. ''What the fuck Jihoon, don't turn it off. I'm so addicted to that commercial.'' Wonwoo stated. 14 eyes looked at him like he was crazy.  Seungcheol stood up and clapped his hands together. ''Okay, skinny penises, and Jihoon, time to get back to work.'' 

Everyone walked back to their work places, still talking about how great the recent episode of  **I Still Love You**  was. ''I just love that Boo Seungkwan guy, man.'' Hansol told Chan. ''Me too man, but who doesn't?'' They parted ways and Chan walked up to his printer. He sat down, enjoying his free time. That free time of course didn't last all too long. The printer started making some weird noises. Chan sighed and took a look inside of it. 

''Okay, who the fuck printed out pictures of their butt?'' Everyone was quiet for a while, until Junhui decided to speak up. ''Yeah that would be me, again.'' He stated, guiltily. Chan rolled his eyes, not surprised.

-

Junhui cracked his knuckles, ready to work with his new computer. ''Let's get this baby started.'' After a while he figured out how to turn the computer on, But there was still one little problem, he thought the password was going to be 'FBI123' but it turned out to be 'FBI1234'. Which if he looked back at it, wasn't a problem at all.

 After figuring that out he clicked on the folder on his desktop called ''person21938'' In the map was all the information about the person he was going to be watching. He read through it.

 Birth Name: Xu Minghao (徐明浩)  
Korean Name: Seo Myung Ho (서명호)  
Birthday: 07 November 1997  
Zodiac sign: Scorpio  
Nationality: Chinese  
Hometown: Anshan, Liaoning, China  
Height: 179 cm (5'10.5″)  
Weight: 53 kg (116 lbs)  
Blood Type: O  

They really should update this and put pictures with it. He sighed and decided to just go with the flow and start watching him. He opened up the ''app'' that he could watch him with and started it up. The camera was on and showed a big beige themed room, The room contained a neatly made big bed with a small box underneath it, two straight-backed chairs,a washstand, a desk-without any mirror- and a small table. There were no drapery curtains at the dormer windows, no pictures on the wall, at all.

From what he was seeing, he didn't understand why Seungcheol didn't want this person. The room seemed very peaceful. Without the person in it at least. But appaerently he spoke too fast, because the person just came walking in the view, with an evian bottle of water in his  hand and a towel on his head. 

The boy was quite thin, his skin had a soft golden tint to it. And his eyes were a dark brown colour, Junhui licked his lips. He was going to have some fun with this one. 

The boy -Minghao-  gently pulled on the end of the towel and got it off his head, which resulted in his light brown hair being revealed.  Junhui stared at him with interest, he really didn't understand why Seungcheol didn't want him?

The boy -again, Minghao- walked up to his computer and searched something, Junhui looked at the other side of his computer screen, where he could see what Minghao was doing on his computer. The boy was searching something called 'Cam4' A site Junhui hadn't heard of before.

It looked like Minghao clicked on it and was now logging into the site, Minghao did some other things and went to sit down onto the bed, The camera had a perfect of him from where he was sitting. Minghao was quiet for a while, until a little 'ping' was heard.

And then Junhui saw something on his computer screen, 'pixipig8 started a livestream' He looked at the screen where he could watch Minghao's computer again and saw names popping up like ''biggieboy1691'' and things like ''sexynewdicks joined the live stream''. That was when it all started to make sense.

''Oh, so that's why Seungcheol didn't want him anymore.'' 

Minghao's entire expression seemed to change when he noticed people were joining his 'livestream' He smiled sweetly at the camera. fiddling with his hands. 

''Welcome back, you guys.'' He leaned forward and looked at the comments that came rolling in. The corner of his lips turned upwards, "You guys want me to take off my shirt?'' He threw in another sweet smile. ''Well I'm not doing that for free.'' 'ka-ching' sounds immediately filled the room. Minghao smiled, obviously feeling satisfied with himself.

 Junhui watches as Minghao runs his hands up and down his torso, pushing his faded shirt up a little. He swallows thickly, eyes darting to the brunette's legs. After teasing for a while he completely pulls the shirt over his head. revealing his slightly toned chest. He looks into the chat some more, looking genuinely interested in what his viewers have to say.

  Minghao suddenly stopped with everything that he was doing and stood up, he crouched down and grabbed the box that was laying underneath his bed. ''What do you guys want me to use today?'' He shyly looked into the camera. A bunch of comments filled the chat again.

 _ **biggieboy1691**_ :  _Go a little faster, baby_     
_**vesthorse:** you have really pretty hands, i wonder what they would feel like around me ;)_  
_**shiggyB:** same^_  
_**ispyalilcock** : use that pretty pink toy you used the last time baby._

 Minghao pulls the toy out of the box with a bit of difficulty,  he grabbed the toy in his hand and showed it to the camera. ''It's really pretty, isn't it?'' The boy giggled a bit, for some reason.  Minghao idly touches his own chest, fingertips grazing over the soft line of muscles, thumb flicking over pert nipples before dipping below his belly button to pull at his waistband

He was about to pull his pants down before he was interrupted by a loud scream. ''Yo dude, i'm home!'' He drops the 'toy' and rushes his shirt back on. He walks up to his computer after muttering a quiet. ''Sorry, bye guys.'' He ends the live stream. and sits back on his bed.

Junhui was about to click the site away before he realised that he couldn't because he's a fucking FBI agent and not some a horny 49-year old guy that searched the site on his own. (His 'area down there' said something different, though.) He was about to click off everything but then he saw Minghao doing something again. 

He walked to the side of his room and came back with the same _evian_  water bottle from earlier. He popped open the bottle and started drinking out of his like his life depended on it.

Junhui finally decided to click everything off after realising that Minghao wasn't going to be doing anything interesting. He started packing up his stuff, ready to go home. But he was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. ''Come in, you pussy ass bitch.''

As expected, it was Seungcheol. ''Rude, also.'' He looked down at Junhui's crotch area. ''See you've met Mr. Xu Minghao.''

 

-


	2. ''Well duh, I'm a clown.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOURE CONFUSED ABOUT THE BEGINNING HAH  
> if you're confused as why mingyu came to the 'fbi office' and thought he was in the hospital or whatever, they can't just expose that that's fbi building, yknow they gotta be a bit subtle, so they act like its a hospital lmao (it seemed like a good idea when i wrote it lmao)

_''Hit me baby, one more time!''_ Minghao was acutally going to jump out of his window. This damn clown had been singing Britney Spears songs for the past 3 days. And no not a clown as in ''He's such a clown.'' But as in, an actual clown, with the red nose, and the white face and green hair and big shoes and the whole shabang.

It was fun for the first 20 minutes, maybe 17. But after that it really started to get pretty annoying. When the clown was finished with '' _Baby One More Time_.'' was when Minghao decided that he was done with this, before the clown could start with another song, Minghao opened his window and threw one of his  _Pink Fenty_  slippers to his head. 

Like he expected, it hit the clown. He saw the clown bending over in pain and he felt satisfied with himself, but that only lasted for a slight second. After that he realised what he had done. '' _Oh fuck_.'' he slipped one the other Fenty slipper, the one that he didn't throw out of the window, and rushed out of his apartment and down the stairs. 

He hopped out of the apartment complex on one foot, due to the fact that he was only wearing one slipper, He walked up to the clown and tapped him on his shoulder. The clown gave him a friendly smile, Minghao almost felt sorry for him.

''First of all, can i have my slipper back? second of all, sorry for throwing that same slipper to you. And third of all, why the actual fuck are you singing Britney Spear songs in front of my apartment?  for 2 days straight?'' Minghao took a deep breath.

The clown gave him a guilty smile, And gave him the slipper. ''I'm kind of in love with your roommate.''  Minghao stared back at him for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. ''Oof, you're funny man.'' the clown gave him an obvious look.

''Well duh, i'm a clown.''

-

 _ **ThiccFrog**_  sent a message to  _ **Soonto.bedead**_

 _ **ThiccFrog**_ : boy oh boy youre not going to believe what just happened.

 _ **Soonto.bedead**_ : tell me, you big phat cinnamon cracker.

 _ **ThiccFrog**_ : yknow that clown thats been singing in front of our apartment. of course you do, so like, he's hella in love with you bro.

 _ **Soonto.bedead**_ :  oh i know. he's in my literature class. his name's Seokmin bro.

 _ **Soonto.bedead**_ : but how do you know him?

 _ **ThiccFrog**_ : oh, i threw my slipper at him.

 _ **Soonto.bedead**_ : makes sense. anyways, i gotta work. joe

-

It was around 4:37 pm when Minghao decided that he could use a shower, before he would start with 'working' (showers really aren't that interesting so we're skipping that.) It was exactly 5 pm when he was done with his shower, before he walked back into his room he decided to get a bottle of 'evian' water, like he does before all of his 'streams'.

After getting it he walked back into his room with his clothes on and a towel wrapped around his head. He sat down and pulled the towel off his head, laying it next to his bed. He walked up to his computer and searched up the infamous site 'Cam4' after logging in and doing all of that irrelevant stuff, he started a live stream.

Minghao sat down on his bed again, and waited for the little 'ping' sound he knew all too well. He smiled when he heard the ping. ''Welcome back, you guys.'' Even though he said that, like, a thousand times already, he still cringed a little on the inside.

He leaned forward and looked at some of the comments, they weren't as  _explicit_ as normal. He hoped it was going to be an easy live. ''You guys want me to take off my shirt?'' He tried to sound  _sexy_  but it honestly just came out a little ridiculous. He gave the camera 'sweet' smile. ''Well, i'm not doing that for free.'' 'ka-ching' sounds immediately filled the room. And he smiled again, feeling satisfied.

Minghao ran his hands up and down his torso, pushing his faded shirt up a little, after teasing for a while he pulled the shirt over his head completely. He looked back at the comments again, reading through all of them. Minghao suddenly stopped with doing everything that he was doing and stood up, he crouched down and grabbed the box that was laying underneath his bed   ''What do you guys want me to do today?'' He asked, somehow shyly.

 _ **biggieboy1691**_ :  _Go a little faster, baby_    
 _ **vesthorse:** you have really pretty hands, i wonder what they would feel like around me ;)_  
 _ **shiggyB:** same^_  
 _ **ispyalilcock** : use that pretty pink toy you used the last time baby._

He pulls the toy out of the box with a bit of difficulty, he grabbed the toy in his hand and showed it to the camera.  ''It's really pretty, isn't it?'' He giggled a bit, for some reason. Minghao idly touches his own chest, fingertips grazing over the soft line of muscles, thumb flicking over pert nipples before dipping below his belly button to pull at his waistband.

Minghao was about to pull his pants down before he was interrupted by a loud scream. ''Yo dude, i'm home.'' His eyes widen and he dropped the 'toy' and rushed his shirt back on. He walked up to his computer after muttering a quiet. ''Sorry, bye guys.'' He ends the live stream. and sits back on his bed.  

He sighed and layed down on the bed again,  after laying there and considering his life choices he stood back up again, walking to the edge of his room and getting the evian water bottle from earlier again. He popped open the bottle and took a long sip of it.

His door suddenly opened, And he spit his water out at the wall from surprise. ''Bitch, ever heard of knocking?'' he said with the bottle of water still in his hand. Soonyoung didn't really seem to care. ''You're cooking tonight.'' Minghao rolled his eyes. ''Just order take-out, it's on me. Oh and can you please tell that clown that he needs to stop singing in front of our apartment?'' Minghao asked.

''But, i thought you liked Britney Spears?''

-

(pov switch)

**The 00ffice:**

''So you have  _heavy bones_?'' Junhui could hear Soonyoung's loud high-pitched voice from where he was standing. (Behind a wall, totally not eavesdropping on him and some random  _really_ tall dude.)'' _I said what i said!_ Can i speak to a doctor now? _''_ Junhui could see Soonyoung sighing and picking up his  _desk_  phone after that. He typed in some number and dragged the phone towards his ear.

Soonyoung looked liked he didn't know what he was doing (Even though he did this a  _thousand_ times already.) ''Uhm, Doctor John''  _Ah he was calling Wonwoo_. ''I have a patient for you, yes  _code 37_ , he claims he has  _Heavy Bones._ '' Pause. ''You'll be here in about 10 seconds? perfect thanks.'' He put down the phone and looked at the 'tall dude'

''The doctor will be here in a fe-'' Soonyoung was talking before he was  _rudely_  interrupted by Wonwoo, who came running in. ''I have arrived!'' Wonw- Doctor John came slipping into the lobby, but he apparently didn't pay attention to the yellow 'WET FLOOR' board that was right in front of him. You can already guess what happened next, there he was, laying on the ground, arms wide open, groaning like a horse. 

''Oh my god, dude are you okay? man i thought i had heavy bones.'' Everyone's eyes turned towards 'heavy bone guy' that was standing next to the front desk. The guy walked up towards Wonwoo (or doctor John, whatever you prefer,) and held out his hand for him to take. Wonwoo was about to take his hand but then fell down again in shock.

''Aren't you the guy from the  _SVT skin care_  commercial!'' Doctor John yelled, making everyone look at him. Which wasn't anything special since they were already looking at him anyways. The guy from the SVT skin care commercial smiled back at him before answering. ''Yeah i am, want to feel my skin?'' It sounded a bit strange to Jun but Wonwoo apparently thought it was a good idea since he immediately reached out towards the guy's face his hand and touched his clear skin.

''So, Mcdonalds?'' Junhui and Soonyoung left without another word.

-

They arrived at Mcdonalds exactly seven minutes later, taking place next to the window, add ten minutes to it and then you have seventeen minutes of wasted time, because they didn't do anything in that time. ''I can't believe no one came up to us yet!'' Junhui whined out with his head  laying on the table. Soonyoung raised his eyebrows and looked at him for a good 30 seconds. ''Junhui, i know you have a very well-paying job, and are probably used to some _luxury_ or whatever, but, we're at Mcdonalds. You have to order yourself.'' 

Junhui stood up and scoffed ''Ridiculous.'' He walked to the counter and Soonyoung quickly trailed behind him. They arrived at the counter but there wasn't anyone, which was a bit weird since they were at Mcdonalds. So they waited for another five minutes. Junhui was busy picking at his nails and other irrelevant stuff, when another voice finally filled the room.

''Ey yo, Soonyoung bro!'' 

 Ronald Mcdonald said. Wait what.

''Uh hi, Ronald Mcdonald?'' Soonyoung said back, looking confused. The clowns lips curled downwards, but the big red painted on clown mouth stayed up. It was slightly terrifying. ''You don't know who i am?'' His hand went up to his chest and he frowned even more. ''It's me, Seokmin bro.'' Soonyoung face lit up in realization. ''You're the guy that sang Britney Spears songs in front of my apartment for 3 days straight, my roommate Minghao told me everything about it.'' Junhui choked on his saliva when he heard that name.

''Your roommate? Does he by any chance have any pink pillows in his room.'' Junhui realized his mistake and tried to cover it up. ''I-I-i mean, d-d-oe-'' but Soonyoung interrupted him already. ''No no you don't have to explain, so you were the guy from last night, huh?'' Junhui was about to correct him but Soonyoung continued already. ''You're a little quiet though, I only heard him. Are you like a sex machine or something? I hear him like everynight, are you guys like, a thing?'' 

 Junhui could only stare at him. ''N-no we're not a thing, I just- he doesn't know m- i don- can we forget this, where's the chef.'' Soonyoung sighed at him again and rolled his eyes with it. ''Honey, we're at Mcdonalds.'' It was Junhui's turn to roll his eyes now.

''Okay, where's the McChef?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: yes this is really short, i'm aware. it was supposed to be longer but i gave up lmao..


	3. ''Monstrosity of evil.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ''ze broer'' i call seokmin ronald bc its my book and i want to bye. 
> 
> if you don't know the dance to 'daddy' (you probably do) then look it up,, pretty funky.

''So you're back from The Netherlands?'' Minghao asked the orange-haired boy that was sitting in front of him, that he probaly hadn't seen in atleast one year and seventeen days. Said boy was about to answer him before a waiter walked up to their table and asked if he could take their order. ''Can i get a _tompoes_ with a black coffee?'' The waiter stared at him for a few seconds, obviously not knowing what he meant. ''Oh ja kut, we zijn niet in de Hema.'' The boy said in some weird foreign language.

''Just some black coffee please? but with extra milk, and extra sugar.'' The waiter walked away before Minghao could even give his order. ''So,  _Jisoo_ , how was The Netherlands? i see you're looking extra orange.'' Jisoo smiled at him. ''Yeah it was Kingsday last week, i got so wasted dude you don't even want to know, then i dyed my hair orange.''

''Still gay, i see.'' Minghao wanted to take a sip of his drink, but then he realised he didn't have any because Jisoo scared of the waiter, _again._  ''Ýeah, i didn't find my _Prince Charming,_  but i did find this guy on a white horse named  _Sinterklaas_  he was kind off like a cheap rip off of Santa. He was like at least 500 years old though, so maybe santa is the cheap rip off, no tea no shade.'' Minghao glared at him, how dare he disrespect Santa?

Minghao stood up from his seat. ''It was nice seeing you again, but please don't say things like that again. I'm gonna take off now, call me babe. see ya.'' Minghao said with a smile, he walked away and heard one thing that would probably hunt him in his nightmares, _''Groetjes!'' A hard g._ Minghao stopped and looked back in shock, he couldn't stay there for any longer, he started running as fast as he could. He swore he could hear someone say, '' _Why are you running?_ '' in the tone of that one video, but he decided to ignore it.

_\- (dutch jokes are over now, i'm sorry for everything)_

Minghao just arrived back at his apartment, he was laying on couch, still recovering from the shock, when he received a text from Jisoo, he rolled his eyes and opened his phone.

**_Huge Worm_ ** **sent a message to** **_Mingeloid_ **

**_Huge Worm_** : Eyoyo bro, theres this party tonight at the hospital down town, im pretty sure your roommate is coming too, and literally everyone else.

 ** _Huge Worm_** : Do you know that Boo Seungkwan guy from I still Love You? he's coming too bro, its about to be LIT.

 ** _Mingeloid_** : okay i'll be there, but don't talk to me too much, you have issues man.

 ** _Huge Worm_** : Okay biggie boy, oh and its a dress up party, i heard the hospital is gonna look like an fbi office, thats crazy right? like fbi?? here??? weird right.

**_Are you sure you want to Block Huge Worm_ **

**yes** _no_

Minghao turned off his phone and layed it somewhere on the couch, since the party was tonight he should probably pick out his clothes already, who even gives a party and anounces it like 3 hours before the actual party. How was he supposed to get a costume on time, Minghao walked up to his closet and opened it, the only thing he had in there that would be considered suitable for a 'dress up' party were his 'work clothes'.

He suddenly got an idea, a few years back with halloween he went as a pirate, but he wasn't going to wear that whole costume again. So he searched in his closet for a while before he found it, his eyepatch from 6th grade. He put on the eyepatch over his left eye. Then he rememberd that Soonyoung was also talking about a party earlier.

He walked to Soonyoung's room and knocked on his door, when he didn't get a response after knocking like 10 times he decided to just kick open the door. ''Hey fuckfa- what the fuck.'' There was Ronald Mcdonald, or Seokmin, or the guy that was singing Britney Spears in front of his apartment for 3 days straight. half naked on top of his roommate, heavily making out with each other. Soonyoung pushed the clown off of him at the sound of Minghao's voice.

''Bro, dude get out!'' Minghao stepped further inside the room and closed the door. ''I just wanted to ask you if you could give me a ride to the party at the Hospital tonight.'' Soonyoung stared at him with his entire face full of the face paint that was previously on Ronald's face. ''Okay, but get out of my room first.'' Minghao trew them an 'okay' sign and smirked at them, before closing the door and walking away.

Since Minghao was already wearing his 'costume', he decided to just lay on his bed for the next 3 hours.

_''rise and shine you ugly monkey.''_

-

After Minghao was rudely waken up by Ronald they all went outside to Soonyoung's car to go to the party. ''If you keep driving like that, we'll actually end up in the hospital.'' Minghao said to Soonyoung, shaky voice and all. Soonyoung scoffed at him and rolled his eyes, what a diva.

The rest of the ride was quite... uncomfortable, to say the least. Soonyoung and Seokmin basically eye-fucked each other for the entire ride, ''Is it so hot in here, or is just the sexual tension floating around.'' Soonyoung gave him the finger at that, Minghao just threw him some gang signs.

After around 5 minutes, they arrived at the hospital, before Minghao could step out of the car. Soonyoung turned around and glared at him for a few seconds. ''Please do me one favour, don't draw too much attention to yourself, we're going to search for a closet, no homo.'' Soonyoung flicked him one his forehead, for some reason. And stepped out of the car, dragging Seokmin with him a few seconds later.

Minghao walked inside, without locking the car first, because he's a savage like that. When he walked inside the room, his ears were immediately filled with loud Spanish music, he wasn't going to question it. Minghao decided to go looking for Jisoo, since he was probably the only person that he knew there.

He noticed almost everything was orange, the lights, the balloons. ''I can see who helped decorating this.'' Minghao felt a (not-so-light.) tap on his shoulder, and he fell over. ''What's wrong with you, you monstronsity of evil!'' Minghao screamed at the mysterious shoulder-tapper, not knowing how it was.

''I thought you were someone else, pussy.'' That was kinda offensive, but sure go off sis. The mysterious shoulder-tapper held out his long and pointy hand, fingers spread, for Minghao to grab onto. Minghao grabbed it and tried to stand up, and bOOM. There he was, on the ground, arms spread, groaning like a goat.

''Dude!'' Minghao said, his voice cracking mid sentence.  He stood up and wiped the orange glitter of his covered buttcheeks. ''Who the fuck invited you.'' He said pointing his finger at the guy. ''Dude, i basically own this place.'' He started laughing like a frog. The guy was wearing a simple black shirt and black skinny jeans with a red and blue superman cape attached to his back.

''The name's Wen, Wen Junhui. And don't ask me how i know this, but your roommate spit in your milk last night, around 00:17 AM, devils hour.'' He shook his head in disappointment. ''Just don't drink it, trust me i'm psychic.'' He whispered the last part. ''And i can tell you another thing about your future, we're going to have a drink, at that bar there, in 17 seconds.'' He said with a cheesy smile on his face.

''One'' he said, ''Two'' he said. ''Three'' he ran away, towards the bar. Minghao swore he could here someone scream. ''We got a runner, guys!'' Junhui jumped over drunk people laying passed-out on the floor. (there are more than you would expect.) with his superman cape following him. Then he did something were you would say something like ''Disappointed but not surprised.'' about.

He dived under the legs of a group of old women dancing the tango, Minghao face-palmed, feeling strangely turned on. He walked towards the bar, he only had 2 seconds left, well too bad, superman was going to have to wait.

-

After a whole evening of drinking, drinking, and drinking. They were, unexpectedly, drunk.  ''Get up, babe.'' Junhui said with his eyes closed, and a smile that was a little creepy on his face. Minghao held out his arms to Junhui, making grabby hands at him. ''Can you please, pick me pick me pick me up.'' Minghao squaked lightly when Junhui lifted him up, wrapping his legs around the older's waist and his arms around his neck. Junhui circled his arms around the youngers tiny waist.

Junhui moved away from the bar towards the door to the long creepy dark hospital/fbi hall. When they reached it Junhui kicked open the door with his sock-covered foot (''Because superheros don't wear shoes.'' He had said.) When they were inside the hall Junhui dropped Minghao down on the hard ground, he groaned like a book, closed and sad. Junhui gently picked up Minghao's foot, and started to drag him with him.

''Thanks, daddy.'' Minghao said with a high childlike voice. Junhui stopped dead in his tracks and looked back at Minghao, Junhui quickly came over the shock and winked at the younger. ''Everything for you babe.'' Junhui dragged him around for a little longer untill they reached his office (which was on the 17th floor so he had no idea how they had actually gotten there.)

He opened the door, with his hand this time. Junhui dragged Minghao into his office and sat on his pink flamingo chair, Minghao stood up and curiously looked around. ''This isn't a hospital ro- i'm too drunk for this shit.'' He walked toward Junhui and the older one patted his lap. ''Come here, you beautiful donkey.'' So Minghao plopped down on his lap, squirming around to get comfortable.

''Don't do that, you squirrel.'' Junhui stood up from the chair, Minghao still hanging around him. ''Uhm can you maybe let g- no nevermind.'' Junhui grabbed him around his waist with one hand and picked up his phone with his other hand. He went to his spotify and put on daddy from PSY. Minghao immediatey untangled his body from Junhui's, he started dancing the dance, yes from the beginning.

When the chorus came on, Junhui decided to dance with him. 

And one thing led to another, so here they are, pants all the way down to their ankles. Dancing so hard, they could practically hear ' _You're the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen_.' in their heads.

The song ended, and they did what any other person would do, take of their shirts. and walk to each other with a fierce look in their eyes. ''Where'd you get that body from?'' Minghao asked Junhui in the same tone as the song. Junhui smirked at him in that Cruella De vil way. The next song that filled the room was Fireflies from Owl City (the '' _you would not believe our eyes, if ten million fireflies lit up the world as i fell asleep_.'') 

''You know what this means, right?'' Junhui said to him, while pulling him closer. ''Slow dance.'' They said in unison, laughing way too hard after. They put their hands around each other and started slow dancing.

Then everything went black.

-

Minghao groaned and looked down at his (amazing) almost naked body, and then to the equally naked body sleeping next to him under the desk, his head pounding out of his ass. He looked around and his eyes fell on the superman cape. 

''Did we just have superman sex?''

**Author's Note:**

> bye (may have some spelling mistakes)


End file.
